Today, on this wonderful Valentine's Day, I have an exciting announcement: I broke up with Ronit a month ago.
This is very exciting because it is something I should have done long, long ago, like a year or two ago, and finally I did it.
I am announcing this because a significant proportion of the Williams campus reads EphBlog, and a nonnegative, nonzero fraction of the EphBlog readership reads my blog, so this is a somewhat efficient way to alert the Williams campus to the fact that Ronit and I are no longer going out, that he is no longer my boyfriend, that I am no longer his girlfriend, that we no longer have a relationship, that we are both single, etc.
Why, you ask, would I care if the Williams campus knows this? Am I trying to seek attention?
No. See, I didn't even think that most people at Williams know who I am, and I persist in this belief. However, it has gradually become clear to me that those who do know who I am all apparently know that Ronit is my boyfriend. And he's not. So I'd like everyone to know that. Please, spread the word. Oh, and if you see me around with him at dinner or something, it's not because we've somehow decided to go out again -- because that will never happen, believe me.
So anyway, I am now free to do whatever I want with whomever I want. The first thing I did to take advantage of my newly liberated state was to go speed dating.
Speed dating was a college-wide thing held in the Log wherein all the guys were on one side of the tables, all the girls were on the other, and every three minutes the guys shifted to the left (their left, my right, but it doesn't matter). About half of the guys were freshmen, some hopelessly awkward, but many were very nice guys. Many, in fact, were guys I already knew and even liked. So it was nice to be able to talk to each of them for three minutes.
Here are a couple of interesting conversation snippets that occurred. I am protecting the identities of the clever.
Him: So what are you here for, dating?
Me: Well, yes, that or, you know, eternal love. Either one is okay. What, what are you here for?
Him: To meet people without having to dance with them.
Me: What is your idea of the perfect romantic date? (Someone else had already asked me this, and I said a picnic on the beach with the sun setting over the ocean.)
Him: One in which you really connect with the other person and feel like they understand you (he was more eloquent than this).
So anyway, now you know. And the rest of my matches who haven't yet should write to me. I added them as facebook friends; now it's their turn.
10/16/17 PHD comic: 'Confusing Malaise'
15 hours ago